I’m scrolling through my social media feeds for this blog, as usual, and it hits me. I have completely different priorities and beliefs than all these other military spouses and milsos. Now this is something I knew already, but, some days it just stands out more than others. Those days I sit there at my computer wondering how I fit into this picture. Is there really room for me in this community that I’m put into both by default and by choice? Isn’t there anyone who gets me? Or am I really as alone as I feel now in this moment. Have you ever felt this way? It’s tough, especially if you are relying on these people for the only connection to community that you might have. How do you get through these feelings of being an outside in the military spouse community?
Step Away from the Social Media
Social media can become very overwhelming. It also can be a place that gives people the freedom and some inherent anonymity to act in ways they might never, ever in real life. So when things get to be too much, step away from the social media. It’s not always a reflection of the real world. Take a time out and leave the accounts alone for a day or longer. Let them sit and come back to it when this latest fad has blown over, or you’ve regained some perspective.
Find Your Tribe
Just because some voices are the loudest, doesn’t mean there aren’t lots of other voices. The military spouse community is incredibly diverse, sometimes you just need to be open to this to find those you do connect with. There are others, like you around, if you just give people a chance, or keep your eyes open. This can be especially hard if you are a new spouse or new to the area, so get out there and see what clubs, groups and events are going on they can be a great way to connect with others who have similar interests.
Still looking for that tribe? The Paisley Hearts Club is waiting for you. We’d love it if you joined us!
Take Care of Yourself
Sometimes feelings are less a representation of what others are doing and instead a reflection of our own feelings. I know when I’m stressed out, I’m much more prone to hate everything everyone does. They probably aren’t even acting in any way other than they do normally but because I’m not happy with my own feelings, I take it out on them. That’s not cool. I know that and try to avoid doing that by taking care of myself. Take time for you. Read your favorite book, treat yourself to an extra long bath, your favorite coffee or whatever you do to recharge your batteries.
Go Have Fun
Sometimes all I need to feel better about others, is to get out of my funk and get engaged in something positive. So get out there and have some fun! Maybe that means a fun date with your significant other, a girls lunch, a long relaxing walk in the nearest park, a pickup soccer game, or pwning some n00bs in your favorite video game. Whatever it is, go and have fun! Play, draw, create, unleash your inner child and remember that as bad as it seems sometimes, there is still joy and laughter in this world.
Focus On Yourself
Okay, this sounds a little self-centered, but really it’s not. The world is loud, it’s overwhelming. Take time to center yourself and bring your attention to the present moment and yourself. Meditation, yoga, and mindfulness practices can all help you find focus, clarity, and peace; three things that are all too often hard to come by in this noisy world we live in.