If you are a military spouse you’ve probably heard this. You’ve probably heard this from your civilian friends, or family, or just some civilian you met one time. Here’s the thing: No. I didn’t actually choose this life. I fell in love with my husband long before he enlisted. Even if he had plans to enlist at that time it wouldn’t have changed anything. When was the last time you chose who you fell in love with? It doesn’t work that way. You love you who love…that’s how love works.
I didn’t sign up for this life. I’m not the one who enlisted, I just happen to be the one that fell in love with him. HE chose this life. I chose to follow my heart and him, and that just so happens to be this life. I could have chosen to be miserable, and dump him – but I didn’t. Like I said: Love doesn’t work that way.
So to those who say “Be happy, you chose this life,” I say oh really? I suppose you chose to be a doctor’s wife, or a firefighter’s wife, or a teacher’s wife right? I mean you fell in love with your significant other because they fit into the life you had planned out. Somehow I’m thinking whatever life you thought you’d have kinda changed when you fell in love right? And if they suddenly decided to change their career you’d support them, right?
I didn’t choose this life. I do accept this life. I learn and grow from the experiences in it. It’s not where I ever thought it would be, though I suppose that’s the same for most people. It’s not perfect, and it is hard, that’s for sure, but it’s mine and I am fortunate to share it with the man I love. That is enough for me.